Searching for that Dream Job?

I need to find my dream job.  The one with flexible hours and an option to work from home some, lots of autonomy, challenges me to grow and develop personally and professionally, doesn't waste time on pointless meetings, pays REALLY well, and everyone immediately notices the greatness I bring to the table so they ask my opinion on strategy and the future direction of the company.  Oh, and it needs to align with my personal and political views so I can feel like I'm changing the world through my career.  That job has to be out there, and it has to be just waiting for me to show up and start being the rock star that I am, right?

I don't need anyone to look over my resume to make sure it works--my resume speaks for itself.  I've done impressive things in college so far and I can do many more.  Nevermind I haven't actually been employed yet or ever bothered with an internship.  I'll just upload it to the Internet Cosmos and wait for the offers to come pouring in.  I don't need to waste my time with networking--none of those people could possibly teach me something I don't already know and certainly none of them are CEOs looking for their successor.  This stuff should all just fall right into my lap.

What do you mean I haven't demonstrated to you all these bold claims?  What do you mean, you want proof that I'll fulfill my commitments before you're willing to give me a shot at that amazing job I know I deserve now?  What do you mean I need to curb my attitude?  What do you mean I need to keep my mouth shut and learn something?  I went to college, after all.  What do you mean I need to start off with this low profile, grunt work that no one else wants to do?  What do you mean I need to EARN it?

I'm here to make my mark on the world and you should feel privileged I want to do it within your company.  I could just as easily go out on my own and make millions, I just want the stability of a good paycheck, social interaction with coworkers, and the safety net of being with a company that's not going to close up tomorrow.  I mean, I can't have all my accomplishments and genius go to waste.

Yeah, thanks for all that parents, coaches, and teachers who bought into the ridiculous crap about making sure kids never feel bad about not winning or doing well while growing up.  Somehwere along the way, these no keeping score, never grade in red, never tell them no ingrates became "adults" and now they don't understand the good life isn't just handed to you.

I hope they live with you well into their 30s and keep you from being able to retire.