Blast From the Past

I came across something that I wrote years ago in high school.  It was based on the early 70s feminist essay, "I Want a Wife" by Judy Brady (you can Google it).  Basically, the assignment was to write your own version of this social commentary, and I really got into it.  So, what better way to make a bold statement than to spit in the face of the high school social structure as I saw it?  I still remember the teacher reading my version of the essay in its entirety for the class and most of them being shocked that I was revealed as the author.  I hadn't quite become the vociferous opinionated person I am today.

So here it is, completely uneditted after15 years:

I WANT A GIRLFRIEND

Since entering high school, I have noticed and have been a part of several relationships. In seeing what could possibly occur and what often does occur, I have come to the conclusion that I, too, would like to have a girlfriend. The reason for this is simple; a girlfriend usually becomes a puppet to control.

My girlfriend would be absolutely perfect. She would be devoted and caring, but never controlling. She would always think I am intelligent and witty, and would never show a difference of opinion. After a long, hard day of school and football practice, my girlfriend would stop what she might be doing to rush over to my house. There she would give me a massage while I complained about my homework and how hard today’s practice was. If my mom was not in the position to prepare my food when I wanted it, she would happily volunteer to prepare whatever I so desired, being extremely careful to cook each item just the way I want it. After I was finished with my meal, my girlfriend would clean up after me, because she would not want me doing anything that might use my remaining energy.

She would be sure to help me with my homework because she knows I cannot fail and still play football. Though I may not feel like doing such a task, she would make sure everything would be done correctly. When I grow tired of her presence, she would go home without asking questions, where she would resume whatever she may have been doing earlier. At school, she would meet me by my locker, and sit with my friends in the mornings. None of her friends would stop and bother mine and my girlfriend would go off with her friends when I so desired. That way I would be left alone to talk with my friends about “guy stuff.”

On the weekends, I would be able to spend plenty of time with my friends, and she would go out with hers. However, if I asked her to go out with me she would, even if it meant canceling plans with her friends. I am her number one priority and she would compromise anything to be with me.

If we ever had a fight, my girlfriend would be the one to apologize and say that I am right. I am allowed to remain angry at her, since she disagreed with me and she would understand completely. If we argued too much for my taste, I would break up with her until she came to her senses. When she realizes that she needs me, I would consider taking her back, but if I did not she would leave me alone. Finally, when I do find someone more suitable for my standards, I could easily break up with my current girlfriend for the better one.

I am regrettably sorry to say that this is not fiction because too many times I have seen males treat their girlfriend in such a manner. If it continues without our knowing it, it will continue until someone figures out that this behavior is wrong. If girls are often like this, then it is no wonder why every male considers them to be the “perfect girlfriend.”

Intro to Me



A demonstration of my sparkling personality



I started writing one of those "you need to understand me" bits a couple weeks ago in preparation for this blog.  I've been stuck on where to take it for a few days and decided to start over.  I was all over the flippin' place without making a real point with any of it.  Honestly, I was coming across as an as yet undefined breed of super bitch.  I must have been in a bad mood when I started writing.

Not to say that I'm sweet or even the slightest bit demure.  I can be supremely unpleasant when the situation calls for it, but I'm really a lot more than that.  I do have several tendencies that come across to others as bitchy, but in my defense they're not actually bitchy--they're honest.  Yes, there is a difference.  I'm really quite terrible at concealing my distaste for characteristics I don't find appealing and I truly do appreciate when people share their honest opinions with me--it took me several years to understand that most don't share my appreciation for no frills honesty.

So I muddle through often quiet and occasionally bursting at the seams with opinions that come flying out at less then optortune moments.  I've come to the conclusion that people need a dose of inconvenient reality now and then.  That's where I fit in and quite well.  Those who take offense to it aren't going to warm up to me over time, so I'm just not going to bother.  I'm comfortable with the saying that if you haven't offended anyone in your life then you never really stood up for anything.

So here I am--bitchy but honest and happy to be both.  Hey, at least you know when I compliment you it's genuine.  That should be at least a little redeeming.

Read Me

What's the point of this blog you may ask?  I haven't quite figured it out yet.  But I feel compelled to build some sort of writing portfolio to see if my lifelong yet frequently ignored hobby of writing could ever turn into something more.

I've gone back over some of my personal writing and realized I've complained about not doing this for years now, so it's time to stop complaining and start doing.  If it ends up being a fruitless endeavor, then at least I can say I tried.  I don't want end life thinking that it's okay to just muddle through without ever really taking a chance on something one loves.

So here it is.  I'm open to criticism (as long as it's genuinely useful--if you want to heckle, I must warn you I can sling it with the best of them).  I'll probably cover a wide variety of topics and it may seem like I'm all over the map, but I have a feeling I'll start converging on a theme or two most important to me as I continue to write.

I need to commit to this before I wake up one morning not recognizing the potential I once had.  I've been joking about writing that NY Times best selling novel for over ten years.  I've jotted down at least 15 story ideas.  I'll be throwing down during Nano Wrimo this year and really making an attempt to finish a complete draft.  I've started a few, but never finished one.

I want to write.  Despite all the articles and blogs telling the masses to never become a writer.  All the articles and blogs that speak of the boundless rejection, the impossible odds to overcome, blah, blah, blah.  I take them in and genuinely consider whether or not I should quit this silly idea and something always pulls me back.  If it's meant to remain a hobby, I can live with that.  If it's meant for more then I can't allow myself to never take the chance.